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Special time is priceless because it symbolizes the parent's unconditional love for the child.
Special time works best when it is:
- Called a certain name that the child understands, such as "special time".
- Given every day, whether the child has behaved well or badly.
- Never taken away as a punishment.
- Kept a consistent, short amount of time (e.g., 10-15 minutes).
- Given at a time convenient for the parent, although a consistent time is desirable.
- Given separately by each parent to each child in the family each day.
- Used for a joint activity that the child chooses (within activities acceptable to the adult, e.g., coloring, reading a book, playing catch).
- Not used for watching television or other passive activities.
- Not interrupted by taking telephone calls or turning attention away to something else.
- Ended on time to prevent begging.
- Not saved up and done at greater length another day.
- Separated from other play time that day by a break, which indicates that the rules are different.
- Shortened by any time out required for misbehavior that occurs during special time.
- Carried out by repeatedly trying to engage a child who refuses special time, in order to convey the parent's sincere interest.
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Source: Howard BJ. 2002. Guidelines for special time. In Jellinek M, Patel BP, Froehle MC, eds., Bright Futures in Practice: Mental Health - Volume II. Tool Kit. Arlington, VA: National Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health.
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