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Living with Others

Like living alone, living with others has its advantages and its disadvantages. You have companions when you live with others. When you live with other people, you can split up the work. When you live with others, you receive encouragement and support. This is terrific.

When you live with others, your space is shared and there are limits on your privacy. When you live with others you have be considerate of them even when you’re not in the mood. You become dependent on others to take care of their cleaning responsibilities. It’s frustrating and it’s a hassle when they don’t. This can be stressful.

How to Communicate with Your Roommates

In order to live with others you need to be responsible. You need to take care of yourself. You need to communicate clearly and patiently to live with others successfully. You need to be considerate of their boundaries and respect them fully.

Before you move in with others, you should discuss with them a few of your needs. This includes your likes, dislikes and your expectations. This will create an understanding between you and your housemates that is based on communication. This is a great way to start. It gives everyone a foundation to work from to avoid confrontations. This foundation can also help you and your housemate effectively manage a confrontation if one occurs.

During this discussion set the guidelines and boundaries for how you will work through conflicts with one another. Talk about your communication strengths and weaknesses. Discuss meal preparation, shopping, rent, and shower schedules, cleaning responsibilities, social rules and music taste. You don’t want to discover after moving in that your roommate cranks the stereo too loud, has wild parties, and does not clean up after him or herself.

After moving in together revisit the ground rules that you set for each other. Respect these guidelines, each other’s boundaries and follow the ground rules. This effort to communicate can truly make the difference. Your living situation can be both comfortable and exciting.

When Arguments Occur

Have a schedule for your personal hygiene so you avoid arguments about the shower, the bathroom and the laundry. This is important. A lot of arguments occur when people are in a rush to get places and they can’t get out of each other’s way. These arguments can get very intense fast. Often things are said that become offensive and too personal. After the argument is over both people usually regret what they said to the other.

If an argument starts to happen because of poor communication about hygiene needs and time, back off. Recognize that your stress level is getting high and that you are becoming agitated and even angry. Tell yourself, “This is not worth an argument.” The best thing to do is compromise your time and space. You will get through your day. Be patient and recognize that this is an issue you will want to discuss later. You can talk about the issue later when you and your housemate or housemates are more comfortable.

How to Manage Stress

When you live with other people it is important to find a place to escape to in order to get away from your housemates. Everybody needs some alone time when you don’t have to be bothered by others. Your privacy is important.

When you live with other people it is very important that you have a way to deal with stress. Make a commitment to a hobby you enjoy and do it often. Having an exercise routine is a great way to manage stress. It keeps you healthy. After exercising it is easier to relate with other people again. You become refreshed.

Another way to deal with the stress of living with housemates is to do things fun with them. This is great. Play games, go shopping, go to the movies, and eat some of your favorite foods together.

Most importantly, you need to appreciate your housemate or housemates. Be thankful for them. Praise them for the things they are doing well. Thank them for the favors they do. Be interested in their lives. Sure, there will be times when you don’t want to have discussions about personal issues, but frequently take the time to listen to them.

Be considerate when you are critical toward them. It’s best not to criticize your housemates very often. Be wise about this and act compassionately. What works well is to do what is best for all of you.

Living with others successfully is not an easy task. You need to be responsible for your end of agreements. You need to show respect for your housemates. You need to take care of yourself physically while respecting other people’s boundaries. You need to be flexible enough with your personal life to accept your housemates as friends. You need to compromise about temporary frustrations.

You need to communicate with respect, consideration and patience. You need to appreciate your housemates. If you do these things, you will be successful while living with others. You will also have a healthy and happy living situation.

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